This is me.

This year God is doing something deep inside of me. He’s empowering me to lower the walls around my heart and be the me He created me to be for all to see…to be carefree in His care. It’s beyond uncomfortable to expose my heart to more than just Jesus and my closest friends and family. But it’s freeing. It’s beautiful. And it’s right. I made my first big step in this process by releasing my book, Unveiled. I’ve captured pieces of my heart in my book that I’ve otherwise only shared with those closest to me. You see, it’s time to let the real me shine. It’s time to put on display what God has done in my life because the power of my testimony – of what God has done (and is doing) to free me from all the things that have held me back – will have more impact in the light than hidden away for only a few to see.

So this is me…the me I will no longer hide from anyone who wants to know me.

I love Jesus. I’ve met Him in the depth of sorrow and rejection, and known Him to woo me relentlessly with His love until I felt all of the rejection and sorrow melt away.

I make mistakes. I’m not perfect. I don’t have life all figured out. I don’t have it all together. I don’t have all the answers. I’m still learning daily.

If you’ve known me for very long at all, chances are you’ve heard me say, “I was born ready!”  In fact, you’ve probably heard me say it several times! It’s my mantra to life. Do you know why? Because rarely, if ever, do I actually feel ready. Rather, I often feel inadequate. But I believe words have power, and my attitude in how I approach something makes all the difference. So I declare out loud, “I was born ready!” and then the atmosphere shifts, and I’m in a much better frame of mind to tackle the task in front of me. The truth is, God enables me to do whatever He leads me to whether I feel ready or not.

I’m uncomfortable doing things alone. As I’ve faced the discomfort and sometimes even fear of being alone, though, Jesus has shown me I’m never alone. He’s always by my side. Often times, I must remind myself of that over and over. Every time I remember this, the fear dissipates and I become comfortable with being uncomfortable. There really is something amazing about keeping my gaze fixed on Jesus – the storm (or perceived storm) surrounding me suddenly doesn’t matter anymore.

I often have more thoughts than I express out loud…sometimes because it’s not appropriate or loving to speak what I’m thinking, but oftentimes it’s because I’m fighting back the lie that what I say doesn’t matter. Or that even if I did speak, no one is interested in what I have to say. The truth is what I have to say is important. Every time I speak up is a victory. I’m choosing to embrace my voice and not be silenced. But it’s a daily choice that doesn’t always come easily or naturally.

Sometimes I get caught up with caring what others think of me, and I’m afraid that if I show my true self, I’ll be rejected. But then I remember that I was made in God’s image, in His likeness (so were you) and it’s good to own it! It’s good to own who I am and who God created me to be! It’s so freeing to be carefree in the care of God!

I like words – a lot of them! I like clearly articulating through the art of writing.

I like coffee – with cream and sugar. Yes, please. Recently I’ve discovered cold brew coffee, which inspires me  to declare each time I partake of it, “where have you been all my life?”

I adore flowers! Truly – I think flowers are my love language. I don’t know why Gary Chapman didn’t create a 6^th love language called “flowers”. Okay, I get it…he’d probably bucket that under gifts. But to me, flowers bring cheer and hope and the promise of possibilities. Flowers are simply in a category of their own.

I love worship music and listen to it as often as I can!

Prayer is an integral part of my life. This is one of the things I do in my free time. It’s fun to me! I pray with friends. I write in my prayer journal. I love to talk with Jesus and intercede on behalf of friends and family however God leads.

I’m an artist at heart. While my drawings and paintings may not attract a pretty price, exercising my creativity makes me come alive! Decorating is my hobby because I simply love all things beautiful and aesthetically pleasing!

I don’t care for large gatherings of people. I much prefer a 1:1 conversation. But because people are important to me, I extend myself and go to crowded places anyway. Instead of hiding away in the comfort of my home, I choose to muster up the courage to go out of love for people and in obedience to God.  It is only God’s grace that empowers me to do the things that may not come naturally but are included in His good plan for me.

This is is a quick glimpse of me. I’m resting in the One who loves best, trusting God is a good Shepherd who will lead me to pleasant places, believing that He holds my heart, always chooses me, and forever pursues me. Cheers to the walls around my heart tumbling down, and for God’s amazing ability to protect my heart better than I ever could. He truly is faithful, good, and trustworthy. I hope and pray that the unveiling of my heart inspires you to trust in God’s goodness, too.

So who is this girl who is carefree in the care of God? I’ve decided to share the true me – the me that’s been hidden but now is unveiled publicly as a result of what God has been teaching me…to be carefree in His care. Turns out, I’m all of the above and so much more.